Wednesday, July 22, 2009

A Summer Wind-

Here is a beautiful Summer flower. I know this , because I googled, "Summer Flower" to capture a certain feeling I need right now. I would love to be standing in the space where this flower resides. But I am not. I need to be okay with that. And I am. I am okay with the fact that I am not standing near a wild flower in some stunning garden, possibly even near a beach. I am okay that, instead of paradise, I am seated in an uncomfortable chair in front of my computer, in Weehawken. It's okay though. I've got a big bubbly glass of ginger ale, with lime. A lot of ice. A few animals lazily graze around the room---and the Facebook window is up--not far away--So as not to miss anything.
The last time I wrote here, on this page, that sometimes goes unnoticed, I felt wildly depressed. Right now, I feel better, but still often worrisome about....well, everything I guess. The Summer days are slippin' away and I feel like I should be doing more. But----I'm just here trying to figure it out. Trying to be creative. Trying not to worry that I will forever be penniless. Trying not to worry that I won't ever be able to be a mom to more than animals. The usual things. For those of you out there who find yourself worrying. Well, I don't know. I could say stop. But it's tough. Do what you can to find ways to make yourself happy. I wish I could help ya, but I am just sitting here in Weehawken.
It's really quite nice. Next week, I will be scampering off to Martha's Vineyard for a much needed escape. I know, I say I am poor and then all of a sudden I'm at the Kennedy Compound. Well, I am traveling via the $1 bus to Boston. Check it. That way I can still afford a Mangotini when I step off the ferry----in White Linen. Hopefully, the travel will rejuvenate me and I can continue writing and trying to give something more of myself. Until then. xo


jessica hall said...

I feel your sentiments!
And: you're coming. In white linen!

H. Alan Scott said...

i've always wanted to go to martha's vineyard. have a good vacation!

damon Farrugia said...

These are had times. for all.
but what you've been through i have no words only feelings. i'm heartbroken for you.Wish i could just give you a hug and tell you life gets better. OOXX.I was nearly killed years ago by taking a jetski at 40 miles per hour to the face. A few facial reconstructives later i'm still here.I can empathize. hang tough.
your not alone and you are remembered fondly. Damon Farrugia

Damon Farrugia said...

By the way my spelling sucks. HeHe

MichelleMaclayontheshore said...

hey there,
have not read your blog in a while and came and read these last two enteries. No words of wise wisdom do I have but to say, "love you" and I do know it is hard, this life. good thoughts of gratefulness and hope I do Fedex your way. michelle